


just an empty vessel

by sunflower_8



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Coma, Heterochromia, Identity Issues, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Serial Killers, Spoilers, Stress, don't worry they just show up in a book kinda, give hinata a hug, identity crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-30 22:24:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19412620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: and it's not just heterochromia





	just an empty vessel

_ who is hinata hajime? _

to some, the fragmentation of hinata only extends as far as the heterochromia, which both fascinates and terrifies his friends. souda can’t look him in the eye (or anybody’s eyes, for that matter) while sonia admires the intricate radar pattern in his—  _ kamakura’s _ — eye. kuzuryuu and owari fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, equally as intrigued as they are concerned.

hinata isn’t sure where he stands. he knows the faster he accepts it, the easier his life will be.

it’s not that easy. 

and it’s not just heterochromia.

voices in his head disorient him, and walking past the cottage of a friend ensnared by a coma only cues more yelling and confusion and distress and  _ lots of fucking stress _ until sonia finds him on the ground outside of his room in a haze. everything is loud; even a whisper from kamakura is enough to shatter every mental defense hinata thought he had. his body constantly feels weak and his words sound hollow, like an empty husk meant to be filled with hope, but he is just an empty vessel now. 

hinata so desperately wants to be strong, but he just  _ can’t _ .

sharing a mind and a body with kamakura is a constant struggle of trying to unite their goals and motivations when kamakura has none and desires none. hinata has to talk to others while attempting to tune out the white noise of  _ boring, boring, boring _ that never ceases.

to kamakura, hinata is the very definition of boring, typical, and useless. a reserve course student who pales in comparison to the talent that surrounds him, suffocates him.

to hinata, kamakura is the face of every nightmare, and an eternal reminder that he is—  _ was _ — a Remnant of Despair, and humanity would massacre him and the other survivors of the Killing Game if they see them alive. the pain of that realization wipes any hope from hinata’s mind.

but hinata knows he isn’t the only one with a guilty conscious. 

souda has never been good at hiding his emotions. he makes excuses in every conversation that he has a machine to fix, as if machines are the only thing on this island that won’t trigger a memory. hinata has tried to help him repair one of the appliances in the kitchen, but left after seeing the desperation in souda’s eyes that tell him he is the last person souda wants to see. although that mentality is probably still present, souda slowly begins letting him help and talks to him more openly. now, he genuinely smiles and jokes around on the good days.

hinata can’t get offended by his reluctance to even do that, though. everyone on the island is a reminder of the sins they committed. 

sonia spends most of her day keeping everyone on track and reading about any topic at all. one day, hinata walked in on her reading about serial killers. when he questioned why she would put herself through that pain, sonia told him that after a while, she would stop seeing her face in every condemned criminal. he simply nodded and left her alone in the grand library. she sometimes opens up to hinata about nightmares she has of the young girls she would kill and sacrifice when she was a Remnant of Despair. sometimes she doesn’t.

and that’s okay. 

kuzuryuu took up calligraphy, which was apparently something pekoyama was very skilled at, and additionally something that had always fascinated him, since he was a kid. he writes poems about the past in the most solitary and quiet places of the island. hinata remembers accompanying him once, and the stabilizing and comforting silence of his time with kuzuryuu offered every explanation for why he does it. 

kuzuryuu is never open about how he feels, but somehow, the silence brings hinata closer to understanding.

owari, as to be expected, continues training as a way to forget about the horrible acts she used to commit. every morning, an hour before breakfast, owari pounds on hinata’s door and convinces him to run laps with her. it brought routine into both of their lives, and, despite owari not sharing many interests with hinata, it was honestly fun. 

(kamakura, however, finds it utterly boring, and there had been one time where the words in hinata’s head overwhelmed him while running laps. owari had stopped and spent a few minutes giving him a pep talk, like nidai would have. it didn’t help much, but hinata was grateful for the effort. hinata took a break from running afterwards, but he returned to it a week later due to the stability it gives his days.)

despite every traumatized person on the island finding some sort of hobby to occupy their time and mind, hinata has nothing to do. 

even though he brings water and food to an overworked souda, reads with sonia, daydreams in silence next to kuzuryuu, and works out with owari, everything he ever did was completely boring to kamakura.

when you possess every talent that Hope’s Peak had known, there’s little that can challenge you. even if hinata doesn’t possess the talents, kamakura does. he can win every game if hinata gives into the intrusive thoughts, create masterpieces if hinata grasps his creativity, and probably find a way to awaken his classmates. but the headache of listening drives hinata mad, and so he wanders alone,  _ useless _ , trying to feel okay.

hinata doesn’t feel real.

when it’s time to sleep (according to sonia), hinata spends a brief moment checking on his comatose friends. no signs of recovery. it’s been months. he looks away before he can get too upset, and retires to his cottage. instead of sleeping immediately like usual, hinata finds himself sitting down on his bed and looking at the mirror across from him with one question on his mind:

_ who is hinata hajime? _

he doesn’t know.

and kamukura izuru, who possesses every ounce of knowledge and talent the world has to offer, who lead a group of people to eradicate humanity and cause despair, who  _ understands everything _ … 

he doesn’t know either.

**Author's Note:**

> heya !!
> 
> i hope you guys like this. i wrote it a while back but it went through some editing and here we are
> 
> the whole kamakura-hinata thing is a whole mess, but i wanted to try and show both how hinata is dealing with it, a bit about how the others react, and also just how the others are doing. i hope i portrayed it well
> 
> comments are appreciated! any requests for future stories, critiques, or something you may have liked will help me out in writing other stuff.
> 
> have a good day! (and if your day isn't go well, i hope it gets better <3)


End file.
